Harried Woman? Me.

…we know from daily life that we exist for other people first of all for whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.

—Albert Einstein

 Today’s paper had an article which caught my undivided attention.  No,  it wasn’t about the proposed $700Bn bailout or the latest government scandal.  The title went something like this:  “Do you have the harried woman syndrome?  In it,  a few sentences lit my inner light bulb: “Studies have found that many of us are suffering from continued partially interrupted state, an inability to focus, reflect and process tasks and information. Sucked into the vortex of speed and haste, we have also lost the ability to enjoy the simple things in life. We killed joy.  We have become wretched, burnt-out slaves to time. “

I don’t know about you but I dread month-ends.  Month-end signifies impossible deadlines which need to met.   There are days when I feel that I’m living to work,  not working to live.  This month has been particularly wretched.  It has been increasingly difficult not to bring work home… not to wake up in the middle of the night, reaching for an invisible keyboard. Heck… it’s been hard to sleep while my brain running at full steam,  thinking of the gaps I missed in my write-ups. 

I’ve been running in this darn rat race for so long,  I’m starting to forget why I entered in the first place.   Carl Honore wrote In Praise of Slowness, advocating living a slower, more measured existence, giving more emphasis to the relationships we have with others and with ourselves.  I keep telling myself to slow down… to unplug… to savor the moment.  Instead,  I’m typing this during a stolen moment, while my family is sleeping.

Harried woman?  That’s me.


I really have to learn how to downshift from a life of hurry to a life of slow and easy.

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. ~Meryl Streep

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The Years are Short

 Gretchen Rubin has just released a short video about the value of time spent with our loved ones.   “The days are long, but the years are short.”

As a working mom,  it struck close to home.  I’m often so busy trying to squeeze time to be THE superwoman and often forget that for my son, all I need to do is be his mom. 

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. ~Meryl Streep

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Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

A little less than one month to go before Valentine’s Day and the advertising frenzy is starting to ramp up. I’m all for the celebration of love but also advocate the use of reason, particularly when it comes to marriage. Marriage is not built on surprises. There was a great article written last month in the New York Times which listed a series of questions all couple should ask themselves before marrying:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?